


VoDKa

by MarlboroRedds



Category: Columbine - Fandom, True Crime - Fandom, columbiner, tcc - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:40:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28710618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarlboroRedds/pseuds/MarlboroRedds
Summary: This is about Dylan Klebold, not Eric Harris. Eric is a hoe.I used to have an AN but got deleted off WP anyways so I'm not gonna bother, jump right on in!P.S. this shit is nowhere near accurate lmao
Relationships: Dylan Klebold/Original Female Character(s), Eric Harris/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1 - The New Filthy Slut

1-7-98

1998, what a total drag of a time to be alive in. At least to Jane Matarezzo.

It was early January, the third quarter of the school year just barely started and Jane had transferred to Columbine High School in good ol' Littleton, Colorado. As soon as she walked in the door she already hated it, not as much as she hated Rydell High, though. That place was hell back in Nevada.

When she walked down the hall she felt a few kids staring at her, making her feel a bit embarrassed but she ignored it.

She wore a KMFDM shirt with black, high-waisted cargo pants, three pockets running down each of her legs. She wore big black platform boots that added an extra 6 inches to her height. Her black hair was stylishly messy, and her ember eyes had dark circles surrounding them, really completing the look.

She made it to her new locker, locker #773, putting in her new combo and opening it before it was suddenly slammed right in her face,

"Hey there, good lookin'..." A boy wearing a white cap leaned in next to her, his hand on her locker,

"Hi, inconsiderate ass. I'm getting my things for my next class--"

"Hey, Aaron! Lookie what we have here!" Another boy hollered, wearing the exact same cap,

"A kid trying to use her locker while a couple of asswipes keep stopping her from doing such an easy task?"

"Girl, the hell you think you're wearing?! You're lucky you're so fine we thought you were hot in those rags!" The boys kept piling on, hungry for a new, fresh, tight piece of meat, all wearing that damn white hat!

"If my clothes are rags, your clothes are literal shit."

"Oh, you got a mouth on ya, huh? I can fix that for you..." One of the boys slithered his hands up her shirt and squeezed her tits, moaning lowly. His joy didn't last long when her reflexes kicked in and she punched him square in the throat. Everyone paused as he coughed and gasped, "YOU FILTHY FUCKING SLUT! YOU WANT A PIECE OF US, HUH?! DO YA?!"

She smirked before exclaiming the quote, "Meep meep!" From NBK and punching him again, and it spiraled into a fight. She dominated, it was like watching someone play a game of pattycake with faces. She used anything she could get her hands on to fight, she grabbed shirts, pulled out clumps of hair, and even beat one of the boys with his own binder. She knee'd one of them repeatedly in the junk, making it her duty to give him a vagina.

All that could be heard was flesh pounding against flesh as the fight spiralled on. She repeatedly slammed the boy-who-had-groped-her's face into the hard tile floor, it was fucking beautiful.

But, of course, this is a high school fight. She had to get hit sooner or later. One sucker punch right to her nose, and who else could that fist have been from but from the biggest, ugliest jock there?

Everyone just seemed to stop, she seemed so much stronger, like she wasn't gonna even get a hit on her.

She looked down as her eyes watered and she covered her bleeding nose, with every drop of blood that oozed off her face and every tear that escaped her eyes she could feel herself start to lose it.

She snapped her head up and immediately jumped on any jock who wasn't a resting lump on the floor. None of them wanted to give up, so they kept coming at her. Over and over again the exact same people tried the exact same tactics, but still failed over and over again.

Of course, she won the fight, those boys were all bark and virtually no bite. In that moment nothing was resolved, nothing mattered, especially none of the slack-jawed, limp-dicked carbon copies staring back at her.

Until she saw this one guy... She couldn't take her eyes off him. There was no one else in the school, hell on Earth at that moment. It was only her, and only him. He looked... Different.

He had so many blunt imperfections, things you'd never find on a model in a magazine. But in her eyes, in her eyes he was beautiful. Probably the most beautiful man she'd ever seen.

She felt herself in him. Something… Strange. She hasn't even talked to him but it was like they were one in the same.

A teacher yanked on her arm, breaking their moment and escorting her to the principal's office to be interviewed. If she wasn't the one who started the fight, she'd get off scot-free. If she was, though, she'd get suspended for four weeks. It seems like way too much time for a high school fight, but if you saw what she did to them, you'd completely understand.

Ok, that was bullshit. She would only get in such a huge amount of trouble, or any trouble at all, because she went after the golden, godly, white-hat-wearing jocks.

She definitely hated this more than Rydell.

\-----

He had watched her walk down the hall, her hips swaying in such a way it drove him crazy. Her raven hair looked stunning, no matter how messy it was, "Woah..." He gasped in awe, and his two friends, Eric and Sean, caught on to his admiration, "...Who is that?"

"I dunno, probably some new kid. She had a KMFDM shirt on." Eric answered,

"She had a WHAT?!" He could feel his heart thump in his chest. He felt it inside him, he knew it.

She was his true love.

"It was a cool one, too, cover of Symbols. But I doubt she actually listens to them. She's probably some fake, y'know? Just a plastic bitch like everyone else."

"Yeah... Probably..." He moped,

"OOOOOOOOOOH! SOMEONE HAS A CRUUUUUUUUSH!" Sean butted in,

"Shut the fuck up, man!" He shoved his friend,

"GUYS! THERE'S A FIGHT GOING ON DOWN THE HALL!" Robyn yelled to them as she dashed down the hall, and the three boys exchanged looks before following close behind her.

They finally came to a halt and watched as that girl kicked pretty much every single jock's ass. It was incredible to watch, who wouldn't want to see some of the worst people they'd ever met get their asses kicked? He watched in awe as she punched, and winced as she knee'd.

Dylan's heart pounded harder in his chest with every passing minute, forgetting about any and all of his past crushes and focusing on her.

When she was done she looked to the crowd around her, and the people stared back, little whispers starting to drum up from the crowd. She heaved, the anger still present in her gaze. Beautiful, endless anger. She couldn't seem to focus on any student. He knew they all must have been carbon copies of one another in that moment, until his eyes suddenly met with hers.

She just wouldn't look away, and neither would he. He just... Couldn't. He knew he looked different, not only from his traditional attire but his abnormal height. He was taller than most of the teachers, for God's sake! But... He also just _looked_ abnormal. He felt so ashamed, he was so fucking ugly. She was probably just in shock that someone could even be so ugly, already she was too good for him.

He was just about to try and fight his way through the crowd and leave... When a small smile appeared on her face, directed at him and him only.

He shyly smiled back, his face as red as a tomato, and she smirked, biting her lip. Sean playfully elbowed him, making him shove the other boy again.

Not too long after a teacher pushed their way to her, "What do you think you're doing, young lady?! Come on!" She grabbed the girls arm and dragged her away, kids still gawking as she was brought down the hall.

\-----

Dylan was bored out of his mind. It was 3rd period World History, right before lunch. He sat at his desk with his head rested on one hand, clicking a pen in the other.

The classroom door slid open, Jane quickly walking inside and shutting it again behind her,

"Well, where have you been, young lady?" The teacher, Mrs. Miller, spat.

"I was in the office, I got into a fight earlier, Ms." Dylan perked up when he heard her voice, it was music to his ears. She held a respectful tone and acted professional, and even though this was cute too, Dylan wanted to see the real her.

"Oh, so you're the new girl who's disrespectful enough to start a fight on her first day? You are just gonna be a _joy_ to teach."

"Oh, and you're gonna be a _joy_ to learn from!" And there it is, her tone mimicked the teacher's, "Those kids were harassing me. One of them reached their hands up my shirt and groped my breasts. I defended myself, plain and simple. But _ohhhhhh noooooooo_ , I'm _sooooooooooooo_ sorry about the jock with a boo boo on his knee, my deeeepest apologizes to Kevin." _'They did WHAT?!'_ He clenched the pen in his fist so tightly his knuckles began to turn white.

"Kevin is the captain of the soccer team! You sent him to the hospital! They still think you might've broken his nose!"

"One of them's actually named Kevin? If they didn't wanna get hurt, they shouldn't have started a fight with me, plain and simple. In fact, they should never lay their hands on _any_ student like they did with me. One groped me, I retaliated, he asked if I wanted a piece of him and his _oh, so very swell_ friends, and I gave them what they wanted."

"What's your name?"

"Jane Matarezzo, Ms." _'Jane... Jane... What a beautiful name...'_

The teacher looked at her role, "Such a shame, such a pretty name for a brat."

"Such a shame, such a high status for someone so cruel to students who just aren't mindless sheep like everyone else. I'm not gonna let people like _that_ push me around."

"Watch it, Ms. Matarezzo. You're at the end of row 6." She sat at her desk, and the teacher started up her lesson again, boring the class for the next half hour.

\-----

Dylan sat at a lunch table with his group of friends, resting his folded arms on it. He could barely pick up on the conversation going on around him, but he knew they were talking about the fight a lot. He just couldn't for the life of him pay attention to what his friends were saying.

Cause Jane was sat at a nearby table.

She sat alone and barely touched her food, a small pout present on her face. He admired her for awhile, then she finally noticed he was staring at her.

Their eyes made contact for a split second before he turned away, his face all red and flustered.

\-----

Right after lunch came Creative Writing, one of the few classes Dylan had with Eric, along with his other friend, Brooks.

When he arrived he was surprised to see Jane there too, he twiddled his fingers and looked down, "What's got you so worked up?" Eric asked him, then he saw her from across the class, "Oh..."

\-----

A girl named Rachel was making a Jesus speech in front of the class, telling the students what she thought would make the world a better place. Not a student clapped, none of them paid attention to what she had to say.

None except Jane.

She knew damn well that shoving religion down your classmate's throats was inappropriate, but she still listened to what Rachel had to say, even if she didn't believe it herself.

She could at least show respect.

After she was done, she went to sit down and Jane gave her a soft smile, which she returned. Then, next up was Dylan and Eric's video. Jane watched the TV intently as the teacher, Ms. Kelly, put in the tape and pressed play.

On screen, a boy stood alone in the empty halls of Columbine, "People are always making fun of me. I don't like it. I need some help." He looked down the hall, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Eric and Dylan walked on screen, making their way down the hall to the kid. They stopped about a foot or two away from him, "We could protect you, _but_ for a cost." Dylan offered,

"I-I'll pay anything!"

"Very well."

A hand reached out to Jane, and she put out hers, the person dropping peanut M&Ms into her palm, "Thank you, boss. I owe you one." She whispered as she put her attention back on the screen. It wasn't hard to switch, with a certain you-know-who on screen she didn't have a problem putting all her focus on a fellow classmate's project.

It's just showing some respect, after all.

The screen cut to a boy in a white cap, like all the jocks wore, turning at a corner of the school building. Eric and Dylan appeared again, whipping out their weapons and aiming directly at him.

A loud gunshot blasted through the speakers, the class flinching, "Do we have to watch this?" Rachel asked Ms. Kelly,

"No, we don't." She walked up and paused it before taking out the tape,

"Hey, I was watching that!" Jane said aloud,

"I know you were, Jane. But I don't find this video really appropriate for school."

"And Rachel's Jesus preaching was?"

"She's a sweet girl, so I allowed it."

"Oh really? Isn't that sexist? You allow the girls to make an inappropriate presentation, but when the boys do it, it's stopped immediately? Two kids made a movie using their personal preferences and artistic ways of expressing themselves to show how they could make the world a better place--"

"Ugh, just listen to the teacher! Why is that so hard?!" A random girl, Sarah spoke,

"First off, learn how to not interrupt people at any chance you get, wait your turn because your time is no more important than mine. Secondly, it's so hard because unlike most of these projects, this one has individuality. If bullies had a threat like death on their mind at all times, everyone would be on their best behavior. Every jock wants popularity, none want death. Even if the movie they made is disturbing, it's just fiction. It's not like they're actually gonna shoot up the school. Is Edgar Allan Poe actually gonna rip out a man's still-beating heart and hide it under the floorboards? No. There's a line between art and action. And I'm not trying to come for Rachel, she made some great points and clearly believes and takes pride in her answer, but I find it wrong to let one student do something inappropriate, then when another pair of students do that exact same action they get in trouble."

"School is supposed to be a safe place for everyone, if even one kid is disturbed by this type of media it's my job to put an end to it. Now, up next is Sarah."

She got up and walked to the front of the classroom, "I'm Sarah McCarthy and the way I would make the world a better place is--"

Jane raised her hand, not waiting to be called on, "Do we have to watch this, Ms.? I don't feel safe." She smirked, making Dylan and Eric chuckle to each other in their seats.


	2. Chapter 2 - Reznor, Huh?

After Eric and Dylan "encountered" Rachel after class, Dylan considered just going up to Jane.

She was a total bitch in there and definitely knew how to prove a point, appreciated their movie, liked NBK enough to quote it (he got the details from Nate), had a KMFDM shirt, what more is there to it? She's meant for him! He almost caught up to her, but lost her in the crowd.

He sighed and pressed on to science class, his hands in his pockets.

Dylan sat down in his seat just after the one minute bell rang. He was so upset he didn't go up to her, but... At the same time he was glad.

She could have been so cool to talk to, or she could turn out to be just like every other girl he's loved.

She could like him back, at least thought he was chill, or she could've thought he was a big, ugly freak. She could be a really cool person to hang out with, or she could already be hooked to teenage fame.

Even if she did like him, she was probably just gonna play around until she got bored with him.

He didn't want any of that phony shit, he wanted true love. He felt she was the one in his heart, but his heart had deceived him so many times he barely trusted it.

He decided right then and there that he didn't care about her, she wasn't anything important. Just some girl.

He had to focus on NBK, anyway. Eric would kill her if she ruined their plans. Literally.

Then his thoughts were interrupted by her walking into class! Her being everywhere isn't helping him!

The science teacher, Mr. Raymond, quickly approached her, "Hey there, you're Jane, right?"

She smiled, "Yep, Jane Matarezzo."

He turned to his students, "Class, this is Jane! She's new here, so I want you all to be on your best behavior around her. Set an example of what the community here at Columbine is all about!" He exclaimed proudly, "Would you mind sitting by Dylan in the very back there?" Oh... Oh no...

She looked over at him and he hesitantly waved to her, "No, I don't mind at all, sir."

His heart raced as she approached him. She sat down next to him, straddling the chair and making herself comfortable.

Her presence made him tense, but relaxed. He felt as if his lungs opened up, allowing him a breath of fresh, cool air, but he also felt as if his lungs were tar black. He felt safe and protected, but the worst fear he'd ever felt burned through him and tied his insides in knots.

_'Just some girl,'_ He thought, _'just some girl...'_

He could feel her gaze on him, but tried to ignore it as the teacher started up his lesson.

The kids were then informed that they have a new "exciting" assignment, they were required to make a computer presentation on human anatomy, with a twist.

They had to work with partners. Wonderful. Not only partners but elbow partners. Looks like Jane's stuck with him.

So much for not caring.

When the teacher was finished with the instructions for the assignment he left the rest of the period for the students to start brainstorming with each other.

Jane turned to him, "Reznor, huh?"

"Hmm?"

"Your shirt, it's Nine Inch Nails."

"Oh! Um, yeah. You listen to them?"

She smirked, "Damn right I do. I'm Jane, by the way. You're probably sick of hearing that name being screamed every hour."

"Oh, I don't mind. I'm Dylan. Dylan Klebold if you want the full name. KMFDM?"

"Damn straight, Klebold. Favorite song by them?"

" _Dogma_ , or _Godlike_ , you?"

"Oh no man, don't turn that on me, I can't answer any of that." The two of them chuckled, "So for our project, do you wanna ride with me to my place?"

"Yep, that sounds good. Could we meet at the South Exit? I need to tell a friend of mine that I won't be riding with him today."

"I figured you had your own car."

"Oh, I do. It's just in the shop."

"Well then, of course, you can do whatever the hell you want. But you touch my car radio, and you're dead."

He snickered as the bell rang. He watched her slip away from class and smiled, quickly going to find Eric.

\-----

"Yo, Reb!" He called to Eric and he turned to him,

"There you are, V! You ready?"

"Actually I need to tell you something. Me and Jane need to work on a project we're partners for so--"

"Jane?! That ratted-haired bitch?! Come on VoDKa, we were supposed to hang out and plan you know what! Ugh... Whatever, man!" Eric turned his back to Dylan, starting to walk away,

"I know, I'm sorry Reb... I'll make it up to you! I promise!"

Eric turned back to him, "Whatever man, go be with your new girlfriend!"

"Wait! Eric?!" The he didn't listen and kept walking, and Dylan just sighed and headed to the South Exit, and by headed I mean dashed.

He burst through the South doors to find Jane sitting in an older Cadillac Convertible, a pair of sunglasses over her eyes.

"Hop in." Jane instructed and he did as he was told.

After a few minutes of silence Jane seamlessly navigated her hand to the center console, lifting up the armrest part to reveal a bunch of CDs. After counting each CD as it brushed against her fingertips she grabbed _In Utero_ by Nirvana and inserted the disc, _Serve the Servants_ blaring from the speakers.

After a second or two she spoke up, "You alright with what's playing?" She flicked her eyes back and forth from him to the road,

"Yeah."

"Good, 'cause I'm not changing it." He smirked and kept his gaze out the window.

They pulled into Jane's driveway, the two stepping out and her unlocking the front door,

"We're here," The two dropped their bags off once inside, "want a quick tour that doesn't require actually getting a tour?" He nodded and she began, "This is the living room, down that hall is a bathroom and guest bedroom. To your right is the staircase. Up that staircase are my parents' room, a guest room, another damn bathroom and my room. A basic suburban home."

"This one is the most unique out of the 15 other carbon copies of it, this one's missing a shingle." They laughed,

"Yeah, so far this town is just one of those ones you see in movies, other than the school being full of molestation-prone jocks."

"All jocks are assholes, but Columbine is the worst. Be careful."

"Bitch, they better be careful around me."

"You don't get it, there's a food chain at Columbine. And, well, me and Eric are at the very, very, veeeeerrrrry bottom. Just associating with us is enough to get you bullied."

"What the fuck? It's high school, not the mighty African Jungle! What the fuck is there a food chain for? God!"

"Columbine is just hell, Jane. Literal hell."

"No, if there's a hell it's a fucking pleasant place, man. I guarantee you that."

"Why would it be pleasant?" He chuckled,

"Think about it, man. Think about all of it. God and all that mess up in heaven all want you to do good, don't steal, don't kill, don't hurt. Satan wants to contradict that after being refused by the heavenly father. Hell is just heaven for sinners. Dividing the two, that's it. Hell has to be. There is no punishment, no matter what you do in life, man. Satan punishing you would be him giving into their ideas and their ways."

She went into the kitchen to look for something to drink, nothing healthy of course.

"Yo I'm getting me a drink, you want anything?"

"Ya got Dr. Pepper?"

"I'm not sure about the kitchen fridge but there should be some in my room." She checked the fridge, and what do you know? There wasn't any,

"Shit, out. Let's go."

Dylan followed her upstairs and the two quickly made to her room. Inside, the walls were so covered in posters, you could barely tell the color of the paint beneath. She had two shelves, full of records and CDs, with the other full of books. A large easel sat in a corner of the room, paints and brushes scattered across the floor around it. A computer sat on a desk not far from a large window, and a turntable and large speakers sat by her bed. The bed itself was messy, the black sheets dressed the mattress loosely, with the quilt unevenly distributed across it.

Then, right by the door frame, a mini fridge.

She reached inside and quickly found and grabbed the Dr. Pepper, and then grabbed herself a Coke.

She handed it to him,

"Sorry about the clutter, I've been trying to make this place home."

"No, no. It's nice. Uhm... Should we get started on that project?"

"Oh, of course." She sat in her computer chair, while Dylan leaned on the desk.

She turned on the computer, it taking awhile to load before the screen finally kicked up.

She went to open up a doc when Dylan looked around and saw a poster of the cover art for DOOM.

"You like DOOM?" He asked, excited,

"Huh? Oh, hell yeah! I have it on console, the computer just won't work for whatever fuckin' reason. It's downstairs, if you wanna check it out?"

He put his finger on her lips, they were so soft they couldn't keep a smile off his, "You had me at 'have'."

She smirked and brushed his hand away, standing and abandoning the computer for the night.


	3. Chapter 3 - Late Night Laziness

The pair sat on the couch, starting up the game and playing the absolute masterpiece that DOOM is.

Dylan played through the first couple of levels but quickly died at the Computer Station level, passing off the controller to Jane.

She played, died, passed on the controller. He played, died, passed on the controller.

The two completely forgot that there was even an assignment.

They got stuck on a few levels, but managed to work their way through them.

When one played, the other filled drinks and kept an eye on the time.

Jane tried to start a painting, but would be quickly pulled from her artwork to help the pair get the hell out of each level.

Dylan tried to write, but would get pulled from his words to help beat an enemy or two.

Before the two knew it, it was already 9:45 at night,

"Oh shit, it's well past 9:00!" Jane raised her voice,

"What?! We haven't even beaten The Shores of Hell yet!"

"Shit... You wanna get a bite to eat? Marco's Pizza sound good?"

"No, I don't have my wallet on me."

"I didn't fucking ask about your wallet, you're not paying. Even if you had your fucking wallet I wouldn't let you pay."

"But I feel bad--"

"Dylan, I brought it up, I'm paying. Don't feel bad."

"I don't wanna just freeload off you--"

"Dude, I'm starvin' so if you say no to Marco's we're getting in my car and going to get Chinese takeout. But I'm craving Marco's and I rather not go anywhere, so do they sound good or not?"

Dylan kept silent.

"Look, Dyl. I know you're hungry. Lunch was hours ago and adrenaline starves you. Let's beat DOOM and eat. I don't mind, it was my idea."

"Yeah... Marco's sounds great..." He admitted,

"Great!" She tossed him a menu, "Let's get two pepperoni pizzas and three things of cheezybread. If you see anything in there you like, tell me and we'll get it."

He tossed it behind him, "That sounds perfect to me. Actually-- nah nevermind."

"Scratch that, three pizzas."

He gave her the weirdest look, "Are you a mindreader?"

"No, just starving." She chuckled and headed over to the phone, placing their order.

Dylan couldn't help but envy her confidence on the phone, she sounded so calm and collected it made Dylan's stomach flip.

What would someone with such confidence want to have anything to do with some big, ugly, quiet freak like him? Who would ever want a massive loser who looks like a horse and acts like a pig? No one, that's who. Especially not Jane. He squeezed his eyes tightly and tapped his foot until he heard her slam down the receiver and quickly opened his eyes,

"The food should be here in about 30 minutes."

"Alright."

They went back to playing but soon after she became fidget-y and yoinked a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket, pulling one out and setting it between her lips. She lit it as she offered one to Dylan. He took it and she lit it for him, him thanking her afterwards.

A loud knock on the door echoed through the moderately large, mostly empty house and Jane answered the door. The delivery boy handed her the boxes and she checked them to see if they were 100% before he left, telling him, "if there's a mistake we're sending ya right back." Dylan noticed him eyeing her and glared at him, him stopping and just looking at the ground. She paid him and her and Dylan ate two of the pizzas and two of the breads together, chatting with one another,

"Hey, what's your schedule?" Dylan asked her, she quickly got in her bag and pulled it out,

"I've got... Bowling first every day, Vocal Lessons A/2, theater B/2, World history A/3, Gym B/3, Creative Writing A/4, Algebra B/4, Science A/5, then Art B/5."

"Nice! We have every class together except Gym, Art and... Whatever the hell Vocal Lessons is."

"Oh, it's a... Um... A singing class."

"Singing?"

"Yeah, being a singer used to be my dream back in like, middle school."

"But you're taking it now?"

"I just think it's cool it's offered is all."

"Are you gonna be the next Whitney Houston? Aynd eeeiiiiieeiii..." He teased,

"Good Lord, stop!" She chuckled, "Not even close!"

"In all seriousness though, I'm sure you sound amazing when you sing, I'd love to hear it sometime!"

"In your dreams, Klebold!" 

The two chuckled, finished eating then started to play again.

\-----

1-8-98

The time was 3:00 AM, the two were hyped up on soda and adrenaline. They wouldn't stop playing the game until they'd beaten it that night.

They tossed the remote more often, and died way quicker, but still made their way through the levels. 

Meanwhile, at 3:00 AM on a fucking school night, Eric was sound asleep in his bed, until the phone rang right in his ear. What insane motherfucker would be calling at 3 AM?!

He groaned loudly in annoyance but answered it,

"Hello...?" He asked, his voice groggy,

"REB?! ARE YOU THERE?!" Dylan yelled,

"AH! YEAH, I'M HERE! V, why are you calling at 3 IN THE MORNING?!"

"I'M OVER AT JANE'S HOUSE PLAYING DOOM AND WE CAN'T BEAR THROUGH THE SPIDER MASTERMIND ON OUR OWN! GET OVER HERE, QUICK!"

There was a slight pause over the phone,

"...YOU CALLED ME AT 3 IN THE MORNING TO GO TO SOME BITCH'S HOUSE AND HELP YOU BEAT ONE OF OUR FAVORITE GAMES FOR YOUR LITTLE DATE?!"

"ARE YOU COMING?!"

"NO!"

"WHY NOT, REB?! WE NEED YOU! WE'RE DYING HERE!"

"YOU CAN FORGET IT, V! I'M NOT GOING TO DRIVE TO SOME BITCH'S HOUSE TO HELP YOU GUYS ON YOUR LITTLE DATE! I-"

"Hey Dylan, may I please see the phone for a second?" A voice he couldn't recognize asked, but assumed it was Jane, she spoke so sickenly sweet, it was gross. He heard the handset being passed on,

"ERIC YOU GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE, WE NEED YOUR FUCKING HELP SO SHUT IT AND HELP US, MAN! I KNOW DAMN WELL YOU HATE ME BUT QUIT YOUR BITCHIN' AND HELP US OUT! COME ON!"

He was flabbergasted but just rubbed his eyes and sighed,

"Fine... What's the address?" She gave it to him and he hung up, not bothering to change his clothes into something considered "proper" for going out.

\-----

Jane set the handset down and smiled to Dylan, "Reb? Is that Eric's nickname?"

Dylan rubbed his arm, "Yeah. Lame, right? Totally... Totally lame..." He thought she would laugh at their nicknames, and was now regretting calling Eric at all,

"Nah, that's a pretty badass nickname. What's yours? Eric can't have a badass nickname and you not."

"I've got one... It's just, super lame and stupid..." He cringed, he never thought he'd be dissing his own nickname, one he took pride in,

"Dude, I wanna hear it! If it's sooooooooo lame I'll come up with one for you, no! I'll tell you mine, how about that?"

He flustered, "It's... It's VoDkA."

"Awwwww... I was counting on it actually being lame!"

"You like it?"

"Hell yeah I do! Aw man! Mine's actually lame... And that's why I'm not telling you!"

"Awh what?!"

"No one calls me anything but my name, got that Klebold?"

"Oh alright, And that's why I'm not telling you. Whatever you say." He smirked,

"Get out."


End file.
